If I believe that God lives in me as me, then what do I do about that? How do I begin to make that real? Is this what “realizing God” really means? Typically we look for God in a church, in a guru, in a marriage or a child, on a mountaintop, in a sacred text. And we’re right to look in all these places. God is meant to be found and experienced everywhere. Where we fail to look, though, is in ourselves. I have been wondering why.

When I consider the idea that God lives in me as me, there are no inner disagreements. Not so much at this point because I know it’s true, but that I believe it to be true. It strikes loudly the chord of truth in my heart. It feels true, all through my being and feeling and thinking. No part of me, consciously, disbelieves this idea.

Why then don’t I act by now as if it were true? What impedes the translation of the cognitive belief into living experience? There are times when I feel a divine quality in myself and times when I touch such an inner depth that I am filled for a moment with light. This is what every seeker longs for.

But the periodic taste of God is not enough. And though I know that I will not in this lifetime fully embody my divine essence, I am certain of my birthright to increasingly identify with the consciousness of God. This is my one real craving. All other cravings are mere substitutes and pointless distractions.

And here may lie a clue to the question, why don’t I more fully embody my divine essence? False cravings. Another word for this is addiction. I think that underneath every addiction lies our craving for God. When I first considered this idea years ago, I started looking for my addictions. There are the obvious, and these are the first to tackle. But dig deeper, and it’s startling to realize: we can be addicted to just about anything. And we are, I bet you, addicted far more than we acknowledge.

Addicted to love, to fear, to movies, to attention, opinions, routines, drama, adrenaline, worries. These subtle addictions are unconscious habits, and ultimately are points of identification that lure us away from our identification with God consciousness. Maybe it can be said that our unconscious patterns are obscurations to God.

If this is true, then one approach to knowing God is to clear away the obscurations. Clarify and simplify ourselves. Piece by piece, layer by layer. A lifetime endeavor that may never be done, but the beauty is in the unfolding realization, not the attainment of perfection itself. I’ve been trying this for awhile, and have never felt more alive and deeply satisfied.

There’s a catch though, the more of God I begin to know, the more I sense and see the obscurations that continue to conceal my divine essence. My craving grows, but my discernment of what the craving is really for grows sharper.

October 2007


One thought on “If God Lives in Me As Me

  1. I love your blog,

    I believe that God’s manifestation in our four dimensional Universe is coded in our DNA (maybe in the gray matter the scientists have no idea what it is for) as you said as “God lives in Me as Me”. The scientists agree that before the Big Bang there was “No Space and No Time”, on the other hand we all agree that from nothing there is no way to create something therefore it was needed a Divine Power, most of us name it God, to create the Big Bang. I do believe that there is One Super Dimension of Space that is projected on its infinite sub-Dimensions, and our four dimensional Universe is actually on the very lower place. If I were a part of a five dimensional space then I would perceive our four dimensional Universe as an entity with its beginning and end, and everything in between, including the state of mind, thoughts, actions etc of our ancestral, and also of the mankind in the far future becoming beings of light (oneness) …in an instant, yes I would perceive all of this in an instant, Alfa and Omega! There is no doubt that the Mankind is going to become beings of light, the question is when? The path is there, are we going to walk it, run it or fly it? Because of our limited five senses and the constrains of only four dimensions of space (with the time going only in the forward direction) we perceive God as slices of the path on a daily base, but we can jump more than one slice at a time if we allow us understand God more, and we can get into the far future and become beings of light much sooner, in an exponential manner…or we can stagnate like it happened in the last one thousand years. I believe that a true Christian would never kill or harm other human beings; we know that they preferred to die in the Romans’ arenas than to touch a weapon, fight and kill, therefore the so called Spanish Inquisition and other like it were made by atheists in disguise that were looking for power, fame, wealth…no matter what would take. I do believe that the atheists are responsible for the mankind stagnation pushing the future of Mankind of becoming Beings of Light…even farther away. Is the Theory of Relativity going to bring us closer to the far future? No, it has flaws…lots of them, but then the atheist Einstein was the first one to urge the FDA to start building the atomic bombs, bombs that killed hundred of thousands of innocent people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I believe that Jesus Christ perceived more than five senses and more than four dimensions of space, that’s why it was possible for Him to create miracles…and I think this is the future of Mankind (science and religion hand in hand).

    I have this website http://www.myspace.com/octavian7 I created some artwork about God, my creed, I even have there a photo signed by Shirley MacLaine for me and a book signed by Ozzy Osborne for me …so I have the autograph from the beautiful Greek Goddess…you know who, and also from the “Prince of Darkness”… and just a thought, maybe the “Prince of Darkness” will change, and he will push us faster into the future with his example…what an extraordinary example. I got your website address from a friend Janet Zeller.

    Lots of love, Octavian

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